Shining More Awareness

This last week, as I worked with feelings of anxiety, I committed to shining more Awareness on the thoughts going through me. Although I did often succumb to just distracting myself, I also spent time sitting with the felt sense of the anxiety, giving this Life force energy my attention and sending it love. I did this by closing my eyes and breathing into the place I felt the energy in my body. By watching my thoughts more carefully and giving attention to the physical sensations, I began to realize that I’d started backsliding recently. By that I mean that I’d been starting to go back to old thought patterns of dwelling on what’s not right or what’s lacking, thus becoming fearful or anxious (which can only happen when the mind projects into the future).
So I amped up my daily gratitude practice of writing gratitudes, in a special journal just for that, every day. Since it can be hard to really FEEL the gratitude when I’m in a state of anxiety, I started by going back and reading the hundreds upon hundreds of gratitudes I’ve entered over the last few years. I read them out loud to myself… and little by little I felt my heart cracking open and filling with joy. I felt myself relaxing. This morning I’m feeling grateful that with each breath in I am given Life and with each exhale I can share Life. Grateful that every breath in and out connects me with all of Life. I feel connected and supported. And I’m grateful that I can feel gratitude…it’s such good medicine!